10. A non-descript building called “SEA BRAIN”, which is misleading, insinuating that the building is actually an aquarium, filled with incredibly intelligent sea animals. To my disappointment, it’s actually a pachinko parlor, filled with nothing but cigarette smoke and stinky old men.

9. An older woman with fashionable purple hair, clutching a bag with one word emblazoned on the front of it in bright pink: “CRAP”.

8. A sweet-looking grandmother, holding her granddaughter’s hand while crossing the street, careful not to drop her bag labeled “PAUL’S WEINERS”.

7. A chubby, cherub-faced toddler being pushed around in a stroller, sucking her thumb and wearing a shirt that says “FARM COW”.

6. An ancient man, who somewhat resembles a fish, with big rubbery lips and watery eyes, doing strange and pointless stretches in the middle of the sidewalk and singing to himself, while wearing a shirt which reads “LEMONERD!”.

5. A trendy-looking young woman, dressed to the nines, her heels clicking on the floor with each step as she shops in her favorite department store. Hair extensions: check. False eyelashes: check. Stockings which claim to burn 400 calories after one hour of walking: check. A tight-fitting, cleavage-bearing shirt which reveals the words, “PLEASURE VEGETABLE”: check.

4. A classy, middle-aged woman, trying to cover herself up from the bright summer sun with long black gloves, a large, plastic orange visor, an umbrella, sunglasses. But she can’t hide the letters on the back of her shirt, which state “DUMBFUCKISTAN” boldly and brightly across her shoulders.

3. A young, nerdy man, looking excitedly through his favorite manga figurines in Nipponbashi, a look of pure happiness on his face as he finds what he is looking for, a warrior-looking female figurine, with large breasts, big doe eyes, and heart-shaped lips. Turning around to head to the cash register with his new toy, we catch a glimpse of his shirt, which spells out “WHITE LOVER”.

2. It’s a cold, winter day and everyone’s shivering at the train station while standing outside on the platform, waiting for the train to come. One man however, is not shivering. He is sipping out of a plastic cup which reads HOT CALPIS, which he has retrieved from the vending machine. There’s nothing like hot calpis on a cold, winter’s day and cold calpis on a summer one.

1. An older man, speckled with age-spots and a lost expression on his face, walking peacefully with his toy poodle in the park on a lovely summer day, while wearing a shirt that says “TITTY BOO TOWER”. 

 


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